Untitled

Nov 07

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

You guys are crazy; in a good way. X] <3

Tumbling or Tumblring?

(via the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet)

Dear Tumblr

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

So I’m gonna go with Tumbshiting Tumbling. X]

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

CAN I KEEP YOU?

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap,”
(and that would be how???….)

On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s “just” a suggestion).

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
(…and you thought????…)

On packaging for a Rowena iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me more time)?

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(and…I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to…what)?

On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: maybe, ooh…fly Delta?)

On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity.

Via (get_ova_me)

15 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU’RE INSANE!!

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Run into walls.
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine
6. Pluck someone’s hair out and yell, “DNA”
7. Wear a sticker that says, “I’m a retard”
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
9. In public yell, “No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!”
10. Do what they actually tell you.
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people.
13. At everything they say yell, Liar.
14. Try to swim in the floor.
15. Tap on their door all night.

Via (FearlessGodess14)

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

So… the elephant says to the camel

“why do you have 2 boobs on your back?”

the camel replies

“that’s a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face”

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don ‘t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

Via (sailor__moon)